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“Bring it on!” I affirmed. “Take all of it, I am willing to release it all! I can handle it!” Hahahaha!
“Bring it on!” I affirmed. “Take all of it, I am willing to release it all! I can handle it!” Hahahaha!
Because I’m fed up with feeling that my feet are nailed to the floor in some areas of my life and moving forward feels like pushing porridge uphill, I adopted a rather gung-ho attitude when presented with an opportunity to get rid of the deeply held limitations that are holding me back and that I hide from myself on a daily basis. Some may say I was a little foolish, naïve perhaps, others may be kind and say that it was brave.
The upshot is that although I accepted that it may be uncomfortable, I am surprised by some of the issues that have surfaced. Obviously the self-loathing is nothing new, but what has really taken me aback, is that I’m actually afraid of what seems to be coming up now.
Rob Wergin
What happened was...
This all came about when I signed up for Rob Wergin’s last call in series, 'Divine Light is Within You Now'. For those of you who are not familiar with our friend Rob Wergin (see left and link below), he channels Divine Masters and Beings of Light (yeah right) to help us shift all the negative energy and false beliefs that simply make our otherwise fabulous lives a misery. Apparently we are so used to having this dross accompany us wherever we go that we choose to cling on to it unnecessarily, as if it is part of who we are. It’s not!
Now I expect some of you are thinking that this is a load of old nonsense, to put it politely, but if I can rid myself of unnecessary fear, doubt, worry, lack and limitation for 54 bucks that's a chance I’m willing to take, however crazy it might sound.
Before I get into the detail of some of the challenges I have been witnessing, I think it is important to point out that I have also experienced amazing synchronicities and outrageous ‘coincidences’ which have been almost unbelievable. Many aspects of my life have been so, so easy, a real breakthrough from the fears and limitations of the past.
Now back to the self-loathing. Yeah we have all been there or perhaps part of us is always there. This has come up time and time again over the years and now it feels even worse than usual, oh the horror, why did I start this process? Many different limiting issues came to the surface that all appear to have this same root, the belief that I'm just not as acceptable as everyone else. The response was clear – there is nothing wrong with me. I don’t have to apologise or hide any part of who I am. It is completely OK to be me. So I’m still working on this and repeating my-self acceptance mantras and gradually I am feeling sense of release and relief. Hoorah! So well worth the anguish.
However, now I think I’m uncovering roadblocks relating to trauma that I have being carrying from past lives! What? This scares the bejeebers out of me.
I’ve been very sceptical about the whole past life business. Not that I don’t believe in the possibility of past (or future) lives, it’s just that I don’t think they have any relevance on this one. No need to go digging around in that old stuff when there is plenty here for me to be getting on with and how many times have we been told that it’s all about being present in the moment. I still am sceptical. So is what I am getting sense of real or am I just imagining it?
If I accept the principle that I have had many, many other lifetimes, as the teachings suggest, then it is not unreasonable to assume that some of those lifetimes have been much worse than this one. Here I am, currently one of the richest 10% on the planet, I have food, water, clothing, shelter, good health, good friends, a loving family and a campervan. Yes I have false beliefs from my childhood that make be believe that I am unworthy and unlovable but basically, all of my need are well and truly met.
So having an inkling of possibly being a victim of torture in a past life….Yikes! Don’t really want to think about it let alone feel it! And starvation, struggling to survive in the extreme…Holy moly!
Even if this is real, why can’t I just leave it all buried in the past? Then the voice in my heart gently suggests, “Because you are carrying some of the trauma in this lifetime and its preventing you from being truly free.” Doh! Why was I so gung-ho about clearing all this, I don’t like how this feels, its nasty!
Well of course I could just be letting my imagination run riot and none if this is true. Let’s stick with that shall we? “Where’s the growth in that, you coward?” Obviously that’s the voice in my head not my heart, not nearly so gentle and always quick to criticise.
So who knows? It's my dilemma to deal with, I just thought I would share in case you can relate or want to feel good about yourself and grateful for who you are compared my crazy-assed self.
Peace and blessing to you all.
If you want to know more about Rob Wergin, here is link to his website: https://robwergin.com/
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